Shark Night 3D (2011)

I have to open this review with the following statement – This movie is TERRIBLE!

However I’m not a reviewer who demands perfection from my movies, or even logical plots, of which Shark Night 3D has neither. What this film provides is a lot of insanely stupid fun… 3D.

After the preliminary shark attack of a frolicking, dispensable blond to set the tone (incase you didn’t realise what the film was about), the movie  introduces us to the usual mixed bag of  Louisiana college students heading to a private lake to celebrate Malik (Sinqua Walls) exam successes.  After a run in with some racist locals and a quick speedboat ride, the gang arrive at Sara’s (Sara Paxton) family vacation home. Besides a limp set up in the love department for the seemingly frigid Sara with sensitive trainee doctor Nick (Dustin Milligan) the film wastes no time with character building and the youths begin the enjoy their vacation with a touch of sunbathing and watersports. When Malik is attacked and stumbles ashore missing an arm the group quickly descends in chaos spurred on further by a second attack which claims Maya (Alyssa Diaz) and damages the only boat at their disposal (yeah right) rendering them stranded. Now the luxury apartment has no phones or mobile reception but thankfully the bigoted locals arrive to save the day and venture off with Beth & Gordon (Katharine McPhee & Joel David Moore) to seek medical help. As the film unfolds it appears that the numerous sharks are not there by chance as previously assumed and that there is actually a more sinister reason for their presence, leading to more grisly deaths and a bitter final confrontation.

So as I previously stated this is not a good film. The plot is dripping with self-serving factors that facilitate the group being stranded and the sharks appearances are convenient and dependent on which characters they wish to dispense with at any given time. All this aside, the twist that’s revealed towards the end of the film is one of the most obscene I have ever witnessed in a movie.

Now for what the film is good for. The shark chase scenes and subsequent attacks are tense and foreboding. There are a few good jumps and surprise attacks, one particular highlight involving a jet ski going at full speed. Finally, for the perverts amongst us, it has beautiful person…

…after beautiful person…

…after beautiful person.

Don’t expect too much from this movie other than a fun and easy-going ride to while away an hour or so on a dull evening. Oh and another thing, don’t go swimming in private lakes, you may get more than you bargained for.

Score: 222/666