So it’s one of the hottest days of the year and I’m sitting in a sticky basement, chilled beer in hand with about 50 sweaty film fans. More shorts and tees than the regular, leather, studs and fishnet, but there’s still the same range of long hair, no hair, a bewildering variety of states in between and a whole host of tatts adorning the exposed skin. Yes, it’s our monthly CUT! filmshow at London’s Horse Hospital.
Tonight’s offering is Varsity Blood and its from writer (and this time director) Jake Helgren, the same guy who brought us Bloody Homecoming. No Prizes here for guessing what’s going to happen. It’s Halloween and the anniversary of the death of the Principal’s daughter in a terrible tragedy at Hogeye High. So, what else would you expect the cheerleaders and football jocks to do after the big game other than to buy a load of beer and drive out to a deserted old farmhouse with no electricity or mobile phone signal?
Oh yeah, the guy who witnessed the death of the Principal’s daughter and ended up in the nuthouse… Did I have to tell you he’s gone missing?
Helgren must have had a terrible time at college judging by the gruesome relish with which this overwhelmingly obnoxious bunch of popular girls and bullies are wiped out to leave the two least unpleasant kids facing the lone stalker, dressed as the Hogeye High football team’s mascot. Now he makes a pretty impressive sight in his Native American mask and headdress and he’s mighty handy with a bow and a bloody great axe.
As with Bloody Homecoming, there are parts of this movie that will make you howl with laughter as 80s slasher movies are ruthlessly parodied and the best way to describe the denouement at the film’s conclusion would be as Scooby Doo on acid, but without the talking dog.
Downside, some of the cast rattle off their lines so fast it’s hard to keep up with the dialogue, but that should not spoil your enjoyment of the film too much.
I give Varsity Blood a 555/666.
Varsity Blood is released on DVD in the UK on 18 August.
Screenings at the CUT! include one free drink plus entry into a free draw to win all kinds of strange promotional stuff. Entry is free, but strictly limited. To get on the guest list e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Review by Simon Ball
Connect with Simon: @RealShipsCook or here.