Raiders of the Lost Shark (2014) Bargain Basement of Terror Friday Morning Creature Feature

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Funny I don’t remember a float plane, helicopters or bikini babes waterskiing

I love mooching in Poundstores you can sometimes find some tiny cult treasures in the DVD rails where the big wholesalers dump their overstocks. Shame Raiders of the Lost Shark isn’t one of them. I should really have deduced that when I read ‘The perfect so-bad-it’s-awesome movie’ quote on the box, but then it was only a quid in Poundland.

Well once we slammed it into the Hothouse Blu-Ray what did we find? People are getting munched by a giant shark in a Canadian lake (er fresh water people). A bunch of students hear that their paleontology tutor, Professor Carly Reynolds (Candice Lidstone) , was traumatised when her sister was eaten by a shark at Murphy’s Island on the lake and naturally they can’t wait to get out to it and se if the story about the big fishy is true. Meanwhile shady corporate MD Janet (Catherine Mary Clark) confesses to Reynolds that drilling by her company released the shark into the lake from an underwater cave that had been sealed for over a thousand years and commissions her to kill it.

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Jessica Huether is brainy student May, you can tell that because she is wearing spex

Naturally all is not as it seems and as soon as Reynolds arrives on the island she discovers that the shark is actually a product of genetic engineering and it can not only reason and hate, but also fly. So it’s up to Reynolds and sole surviving uneaten student May (Jessica Huether)  to take the flying finned destroyer down.

Raiders of the Lost Shark isn’t even Shark in Venice, let alone Jaws, it’s just a poorly written lazy attempt at parody (at least I hope that’s what it is supposed to be) with some very poor CGI effects and acting so wooden it’s on a 0% finance deal at Oak Furniture Land. Despite striving to hit that ‘so bad it’s good‘ vibe, Raiders of the Lost Shark self-consciously tries far too hard to take the piss out of flicks like Sharknado and Piranha but the writers just don’t have the comedy  chops to pull it off.

Incidentally don’t believe what the trailer tells you it’s about, it’s shall we say about as misleading as the poster.

So bad it’s actually really bad we give Raiders of the Lost Shark a 222/666

 

 

 

 

 

 

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