Crocodile 2 Death Roll – Friday Morning Creature Feature from the Bargain Basement of Terror

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Ooooh he’s a big one

So how do you follow a film about a fuck-off big crocodile eating a bunch of teens? How about you put a bunch of psychopathic bank robbers on a plane to Acapulco who, when their flight is diverted back to Florida due to bad weather, go a bit nuts with their shooters at 35,000 feet. So with the control panel shot out the pilot has to crash land in a Mexican swamp. Naturally everyone on board dies except for the set up gang of the pilot, a pair of trolley doilies, three gun toting crooks, an obnoxius lawyer, a smarty pants kid and a nurse. That’s the premise for Crocodile 2 Death Roll (£1 British Heart Foundation Shop)

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If I yell ‘muthafucka’ enough will I be as cool as Samuel L Jackson? er no.

Well Nursie is badly injured and therefore no good for carrying the blaggers swag to their jungle rendezvous, so Max (Darryl Theirse) whacks her. Then the pilot gets eaten by a large croc, only it ain’t the biggest croc in the swamp and its a long yomp through the watery wilderness to safety. People get munched.

Meanwhile final girl stew Mia’s(Heidi Lenhart) Acapulco based boyfriend Zach (Chuck Walczak) has hired an ex Navy Seal (well it said so on his T-shirt so it must be true) to pilot a helicopter into the swamp to look for survivors. Yeah I think you can see where this is going.

Well the plot is pretty daft, but there are only so many things you can do with a giant crocodile, so this one steadfastly gets on with the business of swimming about and eating most of the cast.  Darryl Theirse attempts to channel his inner Samuel J Jackson by shouting ‘muthafucker’ as often as he can, but fails dismally to get anywhere near that man’s plateau of cool. Otherwise the acting in a post Shark Exorcist world is adequate, even if the characterisation is paper-thin (I’m talking Blue Rizla thin) and the conclusion’s marsh gas barbecue is patently obviously set up from the very beginning. The continuity is all over the place with folks being soaking wet one minute then bone dry again and where do the villains get those magic pistols with unlimited magazines? The CGI is a bit rough too.

An adequate creature feature I give Crocodile 2 Death Roll a 333/666

This DVD was £1 at the British Heart Foundation Shop.

Trivia: Despite being set in Mexico Crocodile 2 Death Roll was actually shot at Ramoji Farm City in Hyderabad, India.

 

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