Anacondas: Trail of Blood (2009) Friday Morning Creature Feature from the Bargain Basement of Terror

Anacondas: Trail of Blood is the fourth film in the ever diminishing budget Anaconda franchise and picks up the story from Anaconda 3: Offspring (2008) with which it was filmed back to back.

ana1

So somewhere in the Carpathian Mountains Dr Amanda Hayes (Crystal Allen) the sole survivor from Anaconda 3: Offspring, is attempting to destroy what remains of the Blood Orchid serum research facility from the previous movie. Little does she realise that the final result of the programme was a very aggressive fuck-off ginormous anaconda that has the ability to regenerate damaged parts and a voracious appetite because of its raised metabolism. As if that isn’t awkward enough the wicked tycoon Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies) who funded the original Blood Orchid research wants the serum to cure his bone cancer and he’s only gone and hired Eugene (Emil Hosting) and his gangs of mercs to find it and tie up any difficult loose ends. It all makes everything a bit awkward for Dr Hayes especially when she runs into Alex (Calin Stanciu) and a group of paleoanthropologists excavating a stone-age settlement in the woods.

ana2

Jackson (Lindon Ashby) and Dr Hayes show the big snakie that they really mean it

Needless to say the poorly CGIed snake eats nearly everybody who doesn’t get shot by Eugene’s gang and he’s a bit of a messy eater, No swallowing prey whole for him when there is blood and guts to spread about. Essentially what we have here is a body count movie with lots of running around and hiding in dark places plus extra double cross and stand offs, while people are picked off for either being Rumanian extras or annoyingly feeble women or just stupidly brave and noble Brits before the final showdown.

Right so we al know we are not looking at fine art here, but on the plus side Anacondas: Trail of Blood is a moderately entertaining creature feature despite the bonkers storyline, the often illogical continuity (c’mon how come a blocked tree is a barrier to the paleoanthropologists’ Jeep, but not to Eugene and Murdoch’s Land Rovers) and the rubbish SFX. Rhys-Davies overacts in his typical comic book fashion and I can’t imagine any of the cast got to trouble any Rodeo Drive fashion outlets come Oscars night.

trailofblood2d

Not bad for a quid in the Cancer Research Shop I give Anacondas: Trail of Blood a 333/666

 

 

 

Advertisements